Pinchas Approaches Moshe

Pinchas approaches Moshe.

He say, "Moshe, I want to be a kohen."

"I'm sorry, you can't be a kohen."

"But I really want to be a kohen. I'll give you a thousand shekel if I can be a kohen."

"I'm sorry, Pinchas, you can't be a kohen."

"But I really really want to be a kohen. I'll give you a million shekel if I can be a kohen."

"I'm sorry, you can't become a kohen. Being a kohen requires a certain level of dedication and zealousness for your God."

"I'll show you dedication," says Pinchas. He grabs a spear and pierces Kosbi and Zimri in a single thrust.

Moshe, slowly backing away: "OK, OK, you can be a kohen. But tell me, why do you want to be a kohen so much?"

Pinchas: "My father was a kohen; my grandfather was a kohen. Why shouldn't I want to be a kohen?!"

---

It spoils a joke to explain it, but this is a mashup of the old Jewish joke with the Rashi at the start of Pinchas:

בְּרִית כְּהֻנַּת עוֹלָם: שֶׁאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁכְּבָר נִתְּנָה כְהֻנָּה לְזַרְעוֹ שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן, לֹא נִתְּנָה אֶלָּא לְאַהֲרֹן וּלְבָנָיו שֶׁנִּמְשְׁחוּ עִמּוֹ וּלְתוֹלְדוֹתֵיהֶן שֶׁיּוֹלִידוּ אַחַר הַמְשָׁחָתָן, אֲבָל פִּינְחָס שֶׁנּוֹלַד קֹדֶם לָכֵן וְלֹא נִמְשַׁח לֹא בָא לִכְלַל כְּהֻנָּה עַד כָּאן; וְכֵן שָׁנִינוּ בִזְבָחִים (דף ק"א) לֹא נִתְכַּהֵן פִּינְחָס עַד שֶׁהֲרָגוֹ לְזִמְרִי:

an eternal covenant of kehunah: Although the kehunah had already been given to Aaron’s descendants, it had been given only to Aaron and his sons who were anointed with him, and to their children whom they would beget after their anointment. Phinehas, however, who was born before that and had never been anointed, had not been included in the kehunah until now. And so, we learn in [Tractate] Zevachim [101b], “Phinehas was not made a kohen until he killed Zimri.”

Though this idea that Pinchas only became a kohen at this point is a matter of dispute.

---

While posting about the parasha, I’ll also note the Ibn Ezra (actually at the end of Balak) about the details of Pinchas’ act. It is one of my go-to examples to illustrate that sometimes peshat (or someone’s idea of the peshat) cannot logically function together with derash. This is counter to the idea that midrash is just an additional level of interpretation, adding details that otherwise wouldn’t be known. (See ain mikra yotzei midei peshuto.)

So, in the joke above, I mentioned Pinchas thrusting through both of them at once, as they were caught in the act. That is based on one understanding of kubatah. Thus, Bemidbar 25:8:

וַ֠יָּבֹ֠א אַחַ֨ר אִֽישׁ־יִשְׂרָאֵ֜ל אֶל־הַקֻּבָּ֗ה וַיִּדְקֹר֙ אֶת־שְׁנֵיהֶ֔ם אֵ֚ת אִ֣ישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל וְאֶת־הָאִשָּׁ֖ה אֶל־קֳבָתָ֑הּ וַתֵּֽעָצַר֙ הַמַּגֵּפָ֔ה מֵעַ֖ל בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃

he followed the Israelite man into the chamber and stabbed both of them, the Israelite man and the woman, through the belly. Then the plague against the Israelites was checked.

This follows Rashi:

אל קבתה. כְּמוֹ "וְהַלְּחָיַיִם וְהַקֵּבָה" (דברים י"ח), כִּוֵּן בְּתוֹךְ זַכְרוּת שֶׁל זִמְרִי וְנַקְבוּת שֶׁלָּהּ וְרָאוּ כֻלָּם שֶׁלֹא לְחִנָּם הֲרָגָם, וְהַרְבֵּה נִסִּים נַעֲשׂוּ לוֹ כו', כִּדְאִיתָא הָתָם:

who is quoting Sanhedrin 82b. This could mean belly or womb.

But Ibn Ezra interprets it otherwise, noting that אֶל־הַקֻּבָּ֗ה earlier in the verse means into the chamber, meaning his tent. And then there was her tent. Thus:

אל הקבה. כמו אל האהל וכן קרוב בלשון קדר ואם יש מעט הפרש בין צורת האהל והקבה:

INTO THE CHAMBER. El ha-kubbah (into the chamber) means into the tent. The word has a similar meaning in Arabic, although there is a difference in shape between an ohel (tent) and a kubbah (chamber).

וידקור. כמו ודקרני בה:

AND THRUST. Va-yidkor (and thrust) is similar to ve-dokreni (thrust me) in and thrust me through therewith (I Sam. 31:4).

אל קבתה. בקובה שהיתה שם עם אחי זמרי. וי"א כי קבתה מגזרת הזרוע והלחיים והקבה וגם יש דרך דרש שנעשו י' נסים לפינחס רק הכתוב לא הזכירם:

THROUGH HER BELLY. El kovatah (through her belly) means in the chamber, that is, in the chamber where she was with Zimri’s brothers. Others say that the word that kovatah is related to is the word kevah (maw) in the shoulder, and the two cheeks, and the maw (Deut. 18:3). There is also a midrashic statement to the effect that ten miracles were performed for Phinehas. However, Scripture does not mention them.

These two interpretations cannot work together, because it was either a single act or two separate acts in two separate locations.

---

I’ll also note that that the JPS translation above took certain gender-related liberties with the text. אֶל־קֳבָתָ֑הּ, if translated as belly / womb, has a possessive pronoun at the end. The mapik keh means that it was her belly, not “the Israelite man and the woman, through the belly”.

I’ve written a bit before about the JPS Gender Sensitive Tanach.

This is not the 2023 edition, but the Torah portion of the 2006 edition was also gender-sensitive, taking it further than the 1962/67 version by Dr. Harry Orlinsky, which was also gender sensitive.

We can discover this by performing a “diff” with King James. Thus, JPS:

he followed the Israelite into the chamber and stabbed both of them, the Israelite and the woman, through the belly. Then the plague against the Israelites was checked.

and King James (or Koren, which just makes the names more Jewish):

and he went after the man of Yisra᾽el into the chamber, and thrust both of them through, the man of Yisra᾽el, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Yisra᾽el.